The -self words are myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, yourselves and themselves. You met them in Other Kinds of Pronouns. They have two proper jobs, and both need a word earlier in the sentence to point back to. (Compare Subject and Object Pronouns.)
- Reflexive: the subject acts on itself. “I hurt myself.” “The cat washed itself.”
- Intensive: for emphasis. “I painted the fence myself.” “The author herself signed my copy.”
Key idea
Use a -self word only when it refers back to the subject or adds emphasis. Otherwise use I or me (he or him, and so on).
Why it works
A -self word tells the reader that the same person is doing and receiving: “I hurt myself.” Used anywhere else, it sends a false signal, as if someone earlier in the sentence were being pointed back to.
Worked example: No subject to point back to
Please send the photos to Sam or (me / myself).
- The subject is an understood you, not I.
- Nothing for myself to point back to, so use the object form after to.
Answer: Please send the photos to Sam or me.
Worked example: A subject pair
Sam and (I / myself) planned the party.
- Take out Sam: “I planned the party.”
Answer: Sam and I planned the party.
Worked example: Standard forms
The twins built the fort by (theirselves / themselves).
- Many people say hisself and theirselves in conversation.
- Standard written English uses himself and themselves.
Answer: The twins built the fort by themselves.
Common mistake
Using myself to sound polite or formal: “Please send it to Sam or myself.” “Jo and myself will lead.” Test it: take out the other person. “Send it to myself” and “Myself will lead” don’t work, so use me and I.