In The Writing Process you met revising: changing what a draft says and how it is organized. Now that you can build a whole essay, from thesis to conclusion, you can revise one.
| Move | Example |
|---|---|
| Add | an example where a point has no support |
| Cut | a paragraph that drifts from the thesis |
| Move | the strongest reason to the end; the background before the argument |
| Replace | a vague sentence with a specific one; a weak example with a strong one |
Key idea
Revise by adding, cutting, moving and replacing. Work from big to small: the thesis first, then the support, then the order, then clarity. Fix sentences last, when you are editing.
Why it works
Big problems hide small ones and make them pointless to fix: polishing a paragraph you later cut is wasted work. Starting with the thesis and the order makes sure the essay is worth polishing before you polish it.
Worked example: Revise for order
An essay arguing for a school garden has its paragraphs in this order: (1) the garden teaches science, (2) what a school garden is and how one works, (3) the garden provides fresh food. What should move?
- Paragraph 2 is background: readers need it before the reasons.
- Move it right after the introduction.
Answer: Background first: 2, then 1 and 3.
Worked example: Revise for support
A body paragraph says, “Bike lanes make streets safer. Everyone knows this. Bike lanes are good.” What does it need?
- “Everyone knows this” and “Bike lanes are good” add no support.
- Add evidence: a fact, statistic or example from a reliable source, with commentary.
Answer: Replace the two empty sentences with evidence and an explanation.
Common mistake
Only fixing sentences, and never asking whether a paragraph belongs or is in the right place. Check by outlining your finished draft: write each paragraph’s point in a few words. Does the list follow from the thesis, in a sensible order? That reverse outline shows what to move, cut or add.
Let a draft rest for a day if you can. Time away lets you read it more like a stranger would.