Some words are small, but they do a big job. Please is one of them. We say please when we ask for something.
Key idea
When you ask for something, say please, right away, in a friendly voice.
Why it works
“Give me” is telling. “May I have it, please?” is asking. Asking lets the other person choose to help, and that is kinder.
Worked example: Let's practice
Mia needs the red crayon. Sam has it. What can Mia say?
- Mia wants something, so she asks.
- She adds please, in a friendly voice.
- She waits for Sam to answer.
Answer: “May I use the red crayon, please?”
Common mistake
Saying please only after a grown-up asks, “What do you say?” Or saying it in a whiny, bossy voice. Please works best when you say it first, all by yourself, in a nice voice.
For the grown-up. Model it: say please to your child many times a day. When your child forgets, a quiet look or “Can you ask that another way?” works better than a lecture. Praise the times they remember on their own.