You know the basics of texting courtesy: reasonable hours, clear words, a read before you send. With phones in company handled, adult texting adds one more question: is a text the right way to say this at all?
Key idea
Mind the hour, the tone and the length. Don't send important or sad news by text when a call or visit is possible. Answer within a reasonable time.
Why it works
A text arrives without your voice or face, so the reader must guess your tone, and short texts often read colder than they were meant. That is fine for "running 5 minutes late," but serious news, such as a breakup, a resignation or a death, deserves the comfort of a voice. Texts also arrive whenever you send them, so a 2 a.m. message can wake someone; late texts can wait for morning.
| Fine by text | Better by call or in person |
|---|---|
| Running late | Breaking up |
| Confirming a time or place | Quitting a job |
| A quick thank-you | News of a death or serious illness |
| Sharing a photo | An apology for something serious |
Worked example: Sad news
Leo's grandfather has died, and he needs to tell his close friend Omar. Text or call?
- This is serious, sad news between close friends.
- A call lets Omar hear his voice and respond with comfort.
- A text is fine afterward for details like the time of the service.
Answer: Call; use texts for details afterward.
Worked example: A late-night thought
At 1 a.m., Sam remembers he needs to ask a coworker about a deadline. What should he do?
- A text at 1 a.m. can wake her.
- He writes it now, but schedules it for the morning or sends it at 8 a.m.
Answer: Wait until morning to send it.
Common mistake
Breaking up, resigning or sharing a death by text. Serious news deserves a voice or a face. Quick check: if you received this message, would you want to hear it in person?