Gifts run through every occasion in this unit, from weddings to new babies. A good gift is about the person who receives it, and so is a good thank-you.
Key idea
Choose with the person in mind, include a gift receipt when it may help, and thank every gift. Regifting is debated; most agree it must be new and never go back to the same circle.
Why it works
A gift says "I thought about you." Choosing with the person's tastes in mind, and not your own, is what makes it feel personal. A gift receipt lets them exchange it without awkwardness. Thanking every gift, even one you don't love, honors the thought behind it. Regifting divides opinion because it can hurt the original giver if it is discovered; that is why those who accept it insist on care and discretion.
| Most writers agree | Writers disagree |
|---|---|
| Thank every gift, promptly and warmly | Whether regifting is ever acceptable |
| A gift receipt is a kind touch | How much to spend on different occasions |
| Never regift something used, monogrammed or handmade for you | Whether cash or gift cards are too impersonal |
| Never regift within the same circle |
Worked example: A gift you don't like
Sam's aunt gives him a sweater in a color he would never wear. What does he say?
- He thanks her for the thought, warmly and truthfully: "Thank you, Aunt Rosa! It's so soft."
- He doesn't pretend it's his favorite color, and he doesn't criticize it.
- He sends a thank-you note.
Answer: Thank her warmly for the thought.
Worked example: Thinking of regifting
Mia received a new, unopened candle set she won't use. She is thinking of giving it to a friend from a different city. What do those who accept regifting say?
- It must be new and unused, which it is.
- It must not go back to anyone in the original giver's circle; a friend in a different city is far from it.
- It should suit the new person, as if chosen for them. Some writers would still rather she not regift at all.
Answer: It could meet their conditions, but opinions differ.
Common mistake
Regifting a monogrammed or used item, or regifting to a friend of the original giver. Opinions on regifting differ; care and discretion are what all sides agree on.