When a dish is passed to you, you serve yourself. A few habits make sure there is enough for everyone and that the food stays clean for the next person.
Key idea
Use the serving spoon, not your own fork. Take a fair share, so everyone gets some; seconds can come later. Put the serving spoon back in the dish. Then wait to eat until everyone has been served and the host or cook begins.
Why it works
The serving spoon keeps the shared food clean: your own fork has been in your mouth. A fair share is kindness to the people after you; the last person to get the dish should still have some. Waiting until everyone is served means nobody eats alone while others are still filling their plates.
Worked example: A favorite dish
Sam loves enchiladas. There are eight enchiladas and six people. How many should Sam take on the first pass?
- Count: eight enchiladas, six people.
- A fair share is one each, which leaves two extra.
- Take one, and ask later, “May I have another, if there are extras?”
Answer: One, and ask for a second one after everyone has been served.
Worked example: A food you don’t like
The green beans come to Hana, and she doesn’t like them. What can she do?
- She can say, “No, thank you,” and pass the dish on.
- Many families ask children to take a small taste; follow your family’s custom.
- She should not say “Yuck” or make a face; someone worked to make it.
Answer: “No, thank you,” pass it along, or take a small taste if that is the family custom.
Common mistake
Taking a huge first helping of a favorite dish before everyone has some. Count the people and take a fair share; seconds come later.
Customs differ. Families start meals in different ways. Some wait for the cook to sit down, some for the host to pick up a fork, and some say a blessing or a few words first. Follow the family you are with. If you are a guest, watch the host.